he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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