Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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