i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she peed on how many people?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
