Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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