pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
