Pappa wants mamma naked
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
