I wish I could teleport
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
