Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
