We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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