did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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