So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i will never coherently bang her
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
