I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
