I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
