yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
