my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
