Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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