Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
