Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
