For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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