Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
