its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
