I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
A bitchslap is in order.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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