i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
