Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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