I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
