...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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