but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize