i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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