If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
