Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
