For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
