how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
