Me. At least after what I've been through.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
4 words: hood of his car
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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