I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
