Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
