I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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