All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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