Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My dick has a subreddit
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
