woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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