Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
