She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
