We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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