my mouth tastes like poor choices
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
