K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
