dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
