i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
