obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
