glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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