I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
