The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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